New students and older ones alike have a need for encouragement and guidance.  When they come to campus for the first time, they are barely past their mid-teens.  Although the minds of teenagers who have shed parental control for the first time may tell them that they are now grown-up, their life experiences usually do not equip them to deal with the freedoms and choices they now have.  On the other hand, youngsters, today, have a great deal more life experiences than you or I had at a comparable age, and it’s best to approach a relationship with one of these students with an open and accepting mind.  Remember, they are attending church, and that says a lot about their character.

GETTING STARTED

      Adopt-A-Student is a program in which volunteer host families like you are paired with students who asked for a relationship with a Trinity family by completing the student information form.  Trinity members who want to participate must also complete the host family information form.  The Adopt-A-Student Committee uses the information on these forms to make the pairings, hopefully putting together students and families with similar interests.  When the Committee selects a family for the student, Pastor Alan Head will notify the family of the selection and provide the information about the student to the family.  You should, then, contact the student and arrange to meet so that you can begin your relationship.

RESPONSIBILITIES

      Being available for companionship and support will go a long way toward fulfilling the student’s needs from you.  One good way to encourage contact with your student is to provide FOOD, either in your home or at a restaurant.  Sunday dinners or lunch together around town from time to time become events that the student will look forward to and appreciate.  Your conversations should not be too inquisitive, but you should show concern for their personal and academic well-being.  I have found that tales of your own college experiences, job-hunting, career and children (or grandchildren) are well received and may serve to let them know that their worries and fears are not unique.  If you like, you might offer the student a quieter, more attractive place to study should their on-campus options be subject to too many distractions.  They might do their laundry at your house while they are studying, or you may want to allow them to wash their car there.  The Committee has prepared a list of activities that you might consider.  If your experience with your students suggests other activities not listed, contact the Committee with your successful idea and we will add it to the list so others might benefit.

      The rule of thumb in adopting a student is not to feel like you have to do any particular thing or follow any particular script.  Your relationship should develop naturally, following cues offered by the student.  One somewhat handicapped individual who adopted a student in her church’s program could only offer e-mail contact with the student and her prayers for him.  Although she related that she felt so inadequate that she withdrew from the program after a year, the student contacted her and let her know that her faithful contacts with him and the knowledge that she was praying for his success in his studies gave him the incentive to maintain focus during a particularly trying year.

SUPPORT

      The Trinity Adopt-A-Student Committee will develop several tools to support your relationship with your student such as a handbook or directory of information, contacts and phone numbers for various needs or situations that may arise in the life of your student, a set of things to look for to recognize depression or anorexia, etc.  We would like to hear from you to learn what works and what doesn’t, so we may share the “DO’s” and “DON’T’s” with other adopting families during the year.  Meanwhile, take a look at the attached list of possible activities that you might incorporate in your relationship.  Remember, you are not expected to do all of them.

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